Gratitude

Gratitude

I am back from Italy ; I am home.  It is May and spring has burst forth.  I am busy tilling the soils in many ways.  Literally, in my gardens but also tending to my family.  There has been weeks between blogs. I wrote about my Italy trip.  Through each impression I sensed something higher than me.  Recently, I have had a lot of thought going into what gratitude is and if I have enough gratitude towards the enormous treasures I am surrounded with. 

On a recent “got to do  this and that” errand drive I noticed something that pulled at me, astounded me really.  I was on the way to pick up my granddaughter.  One of God’s creatures, a frail tiny  cat was on the side of the road, barely moving.  She was in a bus lot on a dirty and dusty street.  Without giving it a thought I stopped my car and assessed the situation.  I thought the little fur bundle was a kitten at first because she was so small.  She came right up to my feet and cried a pathetic soundless weak meow.  I swooped her up.  It was like she was hollow with air.  She barely weighted anything thing.  Her bones protruded from her hips and rump and ribs.  She had a wound on her face.  I held her and I let her nuzzle.  She was grateful.  She actually purred.

I visited with my baby granddaughter a bit after I put this sad creature into my car. With windows open a little the cat hung out on my dash board.  I thought about this small fur creature.   First thought was that I had to help her.  Then when she was in the car and I was on my way back, I had my left brain…logical brain side dominate. And I brought flea drops and good food and water.  She gobbled up everything fiercely.  She was still in the car.  I was on my way back home to place lost and found ads and  get this kitty checked out and then, as I was driving she climbed into my lap.  I knew she was in bad shape. 

Suddenly I was overwhelmed with sorrow and… even anger.  How can people treat God’s creatures like this?  I felt nauseous. It was the weekend.  I placed the advertisement in lost and found.  I fed her a lot.  I named her Madeline Joy.  I washed her and took care of her wounds.  That Monday I brought her to my veterinarian where the vet  scanned Madeline Joy for a ID chip .  Nothing.  The vet gave Madeline a shot of antibiotic and had blood taken and was weighed.  She was emancipated and only weight 4.5 pound.  The vet said she was about 13 and barely had any teeth left.  She did not have Feline leukemia but she did have hypothyroidism.  As well, she was riddled with bb gun wounds.  They were old and enmeshed already permanently under her skin.  Abusing such a creature.  I cried.    The wound on her face oozed.  I put homeopathic ointment on it. 

Madeline Joy was an example of gratitude even thought she was emancipated from neglect and abused in God knows so many other ways.  My son’s fiancé’s 6 year old son came with me to vet.  He had never been to a veterinarian’s office before.  I said it is like a doctor’s office for animals (he had a healthy cat at home). I found myself talking about gratitude to this smart little boy.  Being thrown away was a foreign concept to him.  As I cared for my grandson to be, I kept talking about gratitude and told him about the homeless in people in Italy that live in the streets.  It was a lesson.  This little dying cat taught a lesson about gratitude and I was able to express to my grandson-to-                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            be about this.  I remember feeling tired when I was on the trip to Italy. And tired because

 I walked so much and the noise and not sleeping …because of the noise. I remember the small tight web, selfish inside, I was inside of the self.  Some people do not have even these basic human needs of food, cleanliness, sleep. I complained about the tiny shower.  I suddenly feel so ashamed of that as I held this little kitty. This little kitty reminded me of the abundance of all, reminded me I had choices.  Little old Madeline Joy kitty reminded me to embrace life and our daily comforts.  Little Madeline Joy is in rainbow bridge pouncing happily under green grasses freely now, feeling love and eating to her hearts content.

Thank you Madeline.

Italy

Italy

April 12-April 24

This was more of a journey than a wedding anniversary trip for me. My husband and I went on a trip to Italy to celebrate our 24^thanniversary.  It was life changing experience.  Although, here in NY where I live, I wear many ‘hats’ so to speak, I felt I was completely pulled out from my identities.  I sensed something higher, grander and mysterious.  Even the travel took me out of my realm as the time shifted 6 hours after transporting us for hours in air.  I experienced about a month's worth of site seeing in a mere week and a half.  I will touch base on the events but want to express that it was the people behind these buildings and sites that were transforming to me.   

It was the spirits and the ghosts in the walls of the buildings too that spoke to my heart in the rushed, swirling days and nights.  The first few days were a bit blurry from lack of sleep, but we visited the Vatican.  After arriving to our hotel in Rome we walked through the cobble stone streets of Rome Italy.   It felt surreal.  We saw the piazza novena and saw many churches.  On Sunday we went to an ornate cathedral, the first Jesuit church….where, although they said the mass in Italian, I felt universally connected.   

Later in between absorbing the mores and heights of parts of the city, we went to the Trevi fountain and Spanish steps.  It was so much in one day. We woke up early and met the world of cars and historical sculptures, we walked and looked…..All along people wanted us to buy things from them.  Toys, flowers, tickets.  My husband and I talked about what if they have families and this is the only way to support themselves.   We continued onto the Borj park.  We walked about seven miles that second day.  I was quite tired, over whelmed and in awe.   We walked to the pieta Campanili.  We walked to the coliseum and we sketched many buildings and trees.  The Vatican and the museum at the Sistine Chapel was  life changing. 

I didn’t hear but rather felt the people, the history whispering their stories.  We went to see the Papal audience with Pope Francis and was almost in touching distance.  He picked up a child, a smiling boy who reminded me of my grandson.  This mass was warm, intelligent, holy.  I felt hope.  

 We went to Florence and saw the David.  Amazing.  The detail was staggering.  As an artist I observed this famous piece of art from an esthetic point of view and also from a technical point of view. We went to an all-day painting class in which a professor --that studied in an acclaimed Florence Academy of Arts—taught us traditional techniques in still life and portraiture.   

After arriving back to Rome briefly we traveled to Assisi and Orvieto. These two places were one of the most favorite places I have been too.  It was quaint and warm and lovely. In St Francis chapel there was a center section that had a mesh around various sundry items like baby pacifiers, shoes and the like.  It was a shrine of people that have passed.  Spontaneously,  I took my mother’s scarf off which I had been wearing around my neck and pushed it through the mesh.  I felt so happy and I felt a part of my departed mother’s spirit was with St. Francis.  I felt radiant peace. It was all so mystical and I felt love throughout all the incredible impressions. This quote came to my mind from the book: “The Inner Eye of Love” that William Johnston wrote when he was talking about love and mysticism which was the pulse and heart beat during in my Journey to Italy: ”Mysticism is a question of love, a love which arises in the heart in answer to a call, a love which leads through the darkness of the cloud of unknowing to the great mystery which is light in itself but darkness to us. Saint Teresa of Avila speaks of occasions in which the inspiration to pray for another rose spontaneously and unexpectedly in her heart. “  It was bittersweet coming back home.  I missed my children, grandchildren, friends and pets.  I missed my form I was use to.  The memory is in my cells now.  The hunger for more in the depth of my soul.