Mind games and guardian angels

6/4/2013

Mind games and guardian angels

I had another restless night sleep. My children are in my head and heart and it awakens me. I found myself praying to my angels. I feel heavy even though the air is clean and humity low. Interspersed throughout a long day of my mind games and internal self loathing chatter, I thought about my gardian angel. I was brought up strict traditional Catholic. I didn’t really ‘meet ‘ God until I left the church, then came back. To me God is as real as my eyes are blue. As an artist I see the world in vivid color. I also feel the world with intense sensation. Something that isn’t always pleasant because life is cruel sometimes. I do feel my spiritual guardians but more often I feel like I am going through this strange life a lone…. Oh those mind games. I keep promises, keep my ‘word’ as it is said. I promised I would stick to a running plan. I promised to run another ½ marathon with a couple of my loved ones this Autumn. But all day long my brain put off the long 5 miles I had to do today. I busied myself with odds and ends of things. Procrastnated. Since I didn’t sleep well the last couple of nights, I slept in. I finally went out, doing my 5.11 miles walking most of it. Why am I so hard on myself? Let it go, embrace this world. It. goes by so fast.